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Big Hug

There is Virginia Satir’s idea that “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

It makes sense to me, physical touch hugs, that is the first way of communication, language we learn before we know how to speak and express ourselves with words. And even then a hug can say more than words ever will. I mean how good does a strong big hug from a friend feel?


So, how many hugs did you get today?

1-2? Maybe up to 4?

Although I love physical touch already receiving 4 hugs a day is often difficult enough to cover, especially as I am single. So 12 hugs is completely out of reach… Therefore I wondered what else would feel like a hug to me.

Surely giving myself a hug, a heavy blanket, a warm shower, or even the connection that is in the room when I am guiding a yoga class.


Observing me, I noticed one other, surprisingly non physical thing.

Receiving random messages from my friends that do not live close or are part of my everyday life feel nearly as nurturing as a physical hug. Especially when these messages come unexpectedly out of nowhere. They feel like a hug put in words. They give me the feeling of connection and togetherness although we are separated by entire continents. They make me feel seen although I cannot see you.


Does that resonate with you? Then go, grab your phone and send someone else a big hug. I am sure who you will send it to, the person will need and appreciate it.


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